Busy busy bee.
Buzz buzz buzz. Buzz here, buzz there, buzz everywhere. So much buzzing that I completely allowed my devotional life to go down the hill!
“I’ll do it tomorrow Lord!”
“Lord next time! When I’m more free!”
“God, my schedule is so busy!”
I could go on and on about petty excuses I’ve made to avoid the heavy devotional time I needed to have with the Lord that was long overdue. There was so many of them!
I think one of the silliest excuses I’ve made was when I said, “Not tonight Lord, it’s late! Its too dark to write in my journal!”
Just revisiting that situation again makes me flinch.
Say what again? The room was too… “dark”… Really? Was there really no such thing as “a light switch”? Also… was it not because of procrastination that’s why this situation came up in the first place? Hmmm… either way, it was just another silly excuse I’ve said for leaving my devotional time with God to the last minute.
Praise the Lord. Through all my quirks and flaws, God is still so patient. He kept nudging me and pursuing me in all my failures even though I was too oblivious to budge.
It got to the point where I actually finally promised, “Okay Lord! I have a 6-7 hour flight to Toronto… We’ll have the whole flight to ourselves <3”. Initiating that I’d finally spend quality time with Him then.
I wonder if God actually believed those words. Maybe He did. Because love always hopes right? He always hopes that we make the right decisions… To choose Him. He always hopes, always trusts and always perseveres.
Through it all, as I finally got on the plane… I sat down and was prepping myself for the long-awaited “date” I had with Jesus. I was determined to get my soul wrecked. I was ready to bring it on.
Then I fell asleep.
I know, I know. That was terrible. What’s worst was that I actually woke up to eat the free inflight meal and then I went back to sleep again 😥
I wonder how God felt or what He thought at that time… Talk about procrastination at its finest.
As I was in my deep sleep and was snoozing my head off… The Lord finally had it and He was about to budge me regarding this issue like never before.
So there I was… enjoying my sleep when I suddenly began dreaming that I was walking inside a building. As I was walking, I saw that my direction was headed towards a far off door that seemed to grab my purpose. As I was approaching closer and closer, I found out that it was a dressing room to someone named “Will Powers.” And when I entered the room, no one was there.
Then poof. I woke up.
I said “heh?” Who’s Mr. Will Powers? I did a swift pondering and thought who that celebrity was. Will… Ferrel? No. Before I proceeded to think of more celebrities with the name ‘Will’… it finally hit me.
Will Powers = Will-power.
The room was empty = I had no will-power.
Boy. The Lord has a sense of humour. He made me realise that I am in dire need for more supply of ‘will-power’ in my life. All the excuses and broken promises I’ve made served as an evidence for this rebuke… What a mess I’ve made.
He was right. In all these things, it was my choices that determined what I was going to do. I chose to postpone, I chose to prioritise other things, I chose to make excuses and I chose to fall asleep. These are the same choices that He cannot control because He has given me the gift of free will. The free will to choose Him, or not to choose Him.
So I finally spoke to Him… and He taught me the power of will to determine my choices in life in which determined the actions that I take. It was so funny because His correction was filled with love and grace… like He truly delights in disciplining me… spoken by a true Father who desires His daughter to be the best that she can be in His Presence.
The power of choice comes in every detail of our lives. Could it just be in devotional routines? Perhaps could it be about our calling? Could it be in terms of making a big move in our lives? Or maybe its just about the simple details of our daily routine? In all these things, are we aware that God is just waiting for our will to choose His will over our lives? We have the power to choose God or not. Good or bad. Life or death. Light or dark. To awaken or to stay asleep.
What will you choose?
Jesus loves you.
Deuteronomy 30:11-16 (NLT)
THE CHOICE OF LIFE OR DEATH
11 “This command I am giving you today is not too difficult for you, and it is not beyond your reach. 12 It is not kept in heaven, so distant that you must ask, ‘Who will go up to heaven and bring it down so we can hear it and obey?’ 13 It is not kept beyond the sea, so far away that you must ask, ‘Who will cross the sea to bring it to us so we can hear it and obey?’ 14 No, the message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart so that you can obey it.
15 “Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. 16 For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy.